Bottles (A) Won 4-1

From Phil

No one can say for certain when or why the mysterious disappearances and disorientation around the village of Eastry began to occur. There has been some speculation surrounding the effects of a strange miasma emanating from the site of the demolished cooling towers of Richborough Power Station. And others have linked these peculiar phenomena to a possible leakage from the research and development department of a nearby multinational pharmaceutical facility, which was abruptly and unaccountably closed down a few years ago. No one knows for sure; but the evidence is plain.

Natives B triumph again at the Plate final

From Rob S

Charlotte Court on finals day has proved to be a happy hunting ground for the Natives since the team was established, and this year with the A team in the Hatton Cup final and the B team in the Plate final there was considerable expectation again on Sunday

BJD Home - Hatton Cup - Won 5/0

Given that many mighty sporting successes were being achieved during the past two weeks, on the exulted playing fields of Rio, it is perhaps unsurprising that the quarter finals of the East Kent Coastal Petanque League's Hatton Cup (which is actually a shield) and Jennifer Scudder Trophy (which is actually a carnival float) were not widely reported. While headlines were screaming the feats of Jess, Jack, Jason and One Guy Named Mo there was scant space for the endeavours of the brave Natives and their attempt to qualify for Finals Day for the fourth successive year.

D1 Report - Magpies(H)

Last Tuesday evening the petanque team that goes by the name of The Magpies came to sunny Whitstable for a Division 1 league match, scratched around for a few minutes on the dusty piste and then left with very little to show for their efforts. After the Dover Bells had postponed a match against them the previous week (for the second time this season) the Natives A team were thirsting for a competitive match, albeit that the conditions were somewhat arid and their home piste was beginning to resemble an Oklahoma dust-bowl at the height of the Great Depression. In fact, "great depression" would be an apt name for the centre of the far piste, where the powder was now so deep that boules might easily become completely submerged, not to be recovered until dug up by an archaeologist a few hundred years from now.

EKCPL Doubles

Twenty four brave souls gathered in a clearing in the tropical rain-forest that surrounds Dumpton's Brown Jug public house last Sunday in order to campaign for honours in the annual EKCPL Doubles Competition. Approximately 90% of Thanet's oxygen is produced by this jungle, through the process of photosynthesis, and when this is added to the hot air that often emanates from the saloon bar, the combination makes for a rather rich atmosphere, in which many forms of exotic vegetation happily thrive. Thankfully, deforestation has not occurred here on the same scale as in Brazil; although the scuffed-up patch of ground at the rear that purports to be a petanque piste does distinctly resemble the sort of rough scouring that might be found in the heart of the Amazon basin. It consists largely of mud and bedrock, with a few patches of grass thrown in for good measure.

KL Report - Seal Blues - won 3-2

From Phil

Last Wednesday the Whitstable Natives Kent League petanque team received a visitation from the Blue Seals. At least I thought they were called the Blue Seals, so I was expecting a demonstration of natural ball skills, like those I've seen at the Aqua-Park. And, as the Whitstable piste has frequently resembled an Aqua-Park this season, it seemed likely that they would feel very much at home on its spongy surface. In the event, this assumption turned out to be only partially true, which is more than can be said for my assumption regarding their name, which was wholly inaccurate. In fact, they are called the Seal Blues because they come from a place called Seal, which is way over on the western fringes of the county and the name "Blues" distinguishes them from the other team that play at the same venue, who are called the Seal Whites. By choosing these names they attempt to be more egalitarian than they'd be if they used "A" and "B," which is something that the Natives might like to look at for next season in the EKCPL, especially if both teams are in the 1st Division.

EKCPL Singles - Northwood 17th July

From Rob S

And so I braved the tortuous trip to Northwood, ignoring on my way the varied delights of the retail opportunities of Westwood Cross, as I was so keen to renew my acquaintanceship with the vagaries of the famous pistes at this famed petanque venue on the occasion of the League singles competition.